


Second Chances

by Riverchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charlie Ships It, Dean Has a Daughter, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Lack of Communication, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Protective Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverchester/pseuds/Riverchester
Summary: If there's one thing that Castiel hates the most, it's cheating. He's been through enough bad relationships to let himself be dragged into this chaos again by the handsome mechanic who stands in front of him in his living room. And because he's heard enough excuses before, he doesn't even hear Dean out. But maybe he should.





	1. No excuses accepted

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to a short multi-chapter story that is based on a prompt the lovely MissDestiel gave me a while back. I have to apologize to her because it took me soo long to work on this, but it's finally here.
> 
> prompt: Dean and Castiel have been dating for a while, Dean is a single father of a 3-year-old girl, Emily. He hasn't told anything to Cas because the persons he has dated before have always left him using her as an excuse. During a date, Charlie calls Dean telling him to come back home immediately. Cas misunderstand the situation (because he doesn't know Charlie) and breaks up with Dean. A few days later, he and Gabe see Dean with Emily at the park.

"Candles are in place, steaks in the fridge," Castiel mumbles to himself while he looks in the mirror and picks at his collar, "something I forgot?"

Talking to himself is a very normal reaction to him being nervous. And for hours and hours on end, he's been nervous now because he's preparing to see Dean tonight. It's not like the handsome mechanic has never been to his apartment before, but they usually go out for dinner or to the movies and them come back to his place for a relaxed evening with wine, TV, and make-out sessions ending in spectacular sex.

Tonight, though, they're gonna skip the whole "going out" thing and simply plan on watching a movie on the couch or binging the newest repetitive soap opera all night and cuddle. And the best is, it doesn't sound boring at all to Cas. He'd snuggle to Dean's side under a throw blanket and zap through the channels every day if he could. And though it should maybe make him worry how fast things seem to go with Dean, he also loves the thrill of it. Castiel has always been a guy to fall quick and fall hard for other men - mostly with not so nice outcome - but this time it feels different. Or maybe he's telling himself that it's different because after all these years he deserves to win the jackpot.

He lights the candles in his living room - electric, no open fire, for reasons - and puts two wine glasses on the coffee table. When he takes one last look around the room, he has to smile. It looks cozy and romantic, and hopefully, Dean will feel comfortable. Cas plans on taking their relationship to the next level. They date for over two months now, they have sex, they spent about a handful of mornings together but they never talked about what exactly they are, so Cas is going to pop the boyfriend-question tonight.

Dean looks ravishing - as always - when Cas opens the door. He leans against the doorframe, clad in a henley, tight-fitting jeans, and boots. He holds up a bottle of wine and, damn, Cas can’t tear his eyes away. The tall man is Handsome, capital H, with his sun-kissed skin, the millions of star-like freckles and radiant green eyes. How this image of a man ever came to the decision to walk up to him and buy him a drink will always stay a mystery. And Dean knows exactly what he does when he bites his bottom lip seductively.

Cas grabs the man by his shirt and pulls him in for a heated kiss. Dean moans and mumbles something but it gets muffled by lips and tongues pressing against each other. There's a hint of the coffee the mechanic must've had earlier, and Cas chases it by licking in Dean's mouth. Still standing on the doorstep to his apartment, he breaks the kiss to get some air and notices how completely wrecked and debauched they already look like.

Dean grins and runs a hair through his hair, exhaling dramatically. "Damn, Cas, good to see you too," he winks and leans in to steal another little peck.

They chop veggies and cook the steaks, sit across at the dining table and smile at each other the whole time of their meal, then move to the love seat in the living room with Dean's wine and turn on the big screen for some Netflix. And for some "chill" later too, hopefully. Dean rests his arm on the backrest of the couch and Cas snuggles against the man's side. He sighs and closes his eyes for a short moment, completely taking in the warmth radiating from the body next to him.

They never talked about anything like whether or not they like cuddling, it just came naturally, and between stress at work and spending time with his lovable but overbearingly noisy big brother, this is where Cas likes it most to be lately; right next to Dean.

The pretty boring movie they watch fades into the background when Dean starts to stroke Cas' arm; at first just a barely noticeable touch, the caressing grows stronger when the mechanic moves his hand further down to his hip and then his thigh. Cas once and for all loses concentration for what happens on the screen when he feels Dean's mouth pressing soft kisses to his shoulder and his neck. He shifts closer to erase even the last inch of space between them and moans quietly when Dean sucks at the skin behind his ear. The tall man grins at his reaction and slowly moves along his jaw until their mouths touch.

Cas doesn't know for how long they stay like this, only that his lips eventually get sore with how Dean nibbles and sucks on them.

"Let's move this to the bedroom, huh?" he asks, panting from all the air literally being sucked out of his lungs.

Dean grins and licks his earlobe, making Cas whimper at the hot, wet muscle touching his skin. "I see someone's eager."

They playfully battle for dominance a bit until Cas straddles the other man's lap and presses their groins together. Dean throws his head back and moans loudly, both a wonderful sight and sound.

"Okay, okay, bedroom. Now!" The mechanic pants and they stand up, almost falling over in the process. "I'm just gonna get the..., wait, where's my jacket?"

Cas frowns and follows Dean' searching eye around the living room. "You didn't have a jacket when you came," he says.

"Shit, shit, shit. I must've left it in the car," Dean groans and runs a hand down his face, then turns to Cas. "The condoms are in my jacket."

"Seriously? Dean, you had one job," the dark-haired man sighs and sits down again. When he did his little shopping trip earlier today to buy groceries and other things, he completely forgot to buy condoms - which he is running low on since he met Dean - and the other man promised to bring some.

Dean bites his lip and ducks his head with an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry, Cas. I'm gonna go get them, okay? I parked across the street."

"Take my keys to get in again. And better hurry," Cas answers.

"I swear," Dean say and is already on his way to the front door, "damn, I just hope I don't meet anyone outside, this boner isn't exactly subtle."

Cas laughs and lies down on the couch. "That's the punishment for making me wait. I'm  _very_  horny."

Dean groans and waves goodbye before the door shuts. Cas can even hear the other man's heavy footsteps running across the hallway and he chuckles. Not everything goes according to plan with the tall mechanic, but that makes it even more thrilling to be with the guy.

Feeling his own erection press against his slacks, he opens the fly to release a bit of the tension and even thinks about starting without Dean. It probably would be a very erotic surprise for the tall man to find him all naked on the couch, moaning and playing with himself.

His vivid thoughts get interrupted by his phone vibrating and lighting up on the coffee table.  _Worst time ever. If it's Gabe I'm gonna kick his ass, he knows Dean's over tonight._

**< <Call me.>>**

Cas looks at the sender and frowns. "Who is Charlie?" he murmurs until he realizes that it's not even his own phone but Dean's he's holding in his hand. Already wanting to put it back down, another text comes in and despite the fact that Cas really doesn't want to spy on Dean his eyes fall on the screen.

**Charlie: <<sorry to interrupt the boys night out but it's kinda an emergency>>**

Before Cas even has finished reading the sentence, another text pops up, and another.

**Charlie: <<no worries, our little princess is fine>>**

**Charlie: <<but still, call me>>**

Cas forces himself to put the phone down. This is really none of his business. Charlie is probably Dean's roommate - the mechanic had mentioned the chaotic guy a million times before already - and even though he has not the slightest clue who's meant with "our little princess", he should immediately stop to invade Dean's privacy. He will tell Dean about the texts when he comes back.

But then the display lights up again and Back in Black announces an incoming call. It's from Charlie again and Cas waits a few rings before he decides to pick up. It's not his place to take any calls for Dean, but if it's an emergency, he supposes the other man wouldn't mind.

He doesn't even get to say hello or his name when he picks up because on the other side of the line a woman starts talking very fast immediately.

"There's water everywhere! And I literally mean _everywhere_. I was washing the dishes and then the tap didn't want to shut off. I turned the knobs but it just wouldn't stop! Damn, I'm soaked now. I couldn't even pull the plug cause I had knives in the sink and you know me, I would've totally cut off a finger trying to pull the plug. I stopped it now but the kitchen is flooded. I already cleaned up most of it, but Emily woke up because of the noise and now she doesn't want to go back to sleep without her daddy."

There's a long pause after this shower of words and Cas uses it to clear his throat and finally say something. "Um, hello. Sorry, Dean is busy right now, but he'll be back any minute."

Another long moment of silence on the other side before the woman speaks again. "Oh, yeah, sorry, you're probably one of his colleagues. Could you please tell Dean to call me back asap? I'm Charlie."

Cas is confused. By the fact that Charlie is a woman but also that he thinks Dean is out with co-workers. He still nods until he realizes that Charlie can't see him. "Um, yes, sure, I can do that."

"Great, thanks. Now I don't wanna bother you any longer. Go back to your foosball or darts or whatever you guys are doing. Bye."

"Bye," is all Cas can answer before she hangs up and he is left with a huge frown on his face.

He just can't wrap his head around this weird call. Why is Charlie - who Dean definitely always described as a "he" - a woman? Who's Emily?

A strange feeling grows in his guts and Cas doesn't like it at all. Why would Dean need to lie about the gender of his roommate? And why would she assume he's out with some colleagues? This doesn't have to mean anything, there's probably a completely logical explanation for it.

Cas breathes heavily and tries not to think too much about it, but it's kinda too late to let it slide.

_"... she doesn't want to go back to sleep without her daddy."_

It doesn't have to mean what he thinks it means... but then again, it would totally fit into his fucked-up life if it truly means that Dean has a daughter. A daughter who he never even mentioned, who is at his house right now with a woman he always talked about as his  _male_  roommate. Cas tries to stop the train of thoughts that inevitably comes along with all of that. No, it just can't be.

"This isn't happening, this is  _not_  happening," he almost chants.  _Not again..._

Cas doesn't want to think of the possibility that Dean really might be...  _No, stop!!!_

Even in his own mind, he doesn't want to use the word. If he lets it in, he knows he's not letting go of it again. And still, how else can all of this be explained? A woman living at his house, a little girl calling him daddy... Cas told himself that Dean is different, that he's not like all those assholes, those  _cheaters_  he met over the years. Great, there it is, the word he tried to avoid.

"Dean is not cheating!" he tells himself while pacing across the room. He can't sit down anymore and breathes heavily. "He's not."

But how much does he know Dean anyway? They date for less than three months, so how can he even trust the other man's words? Cas feels tears forming in the corner of his eyes and his jaw clenches. This can't happen again; he can't fall for a cheater again.

Then it hits him. He's not being cheated on. No, if this is all true, if Dean has a daughter and a girlfriend or wife at home, then he's the one being cheated  _with_. Cas feels sick.

There's the sound of a key turning in the lock and then Dean stands in the doorway, cheerfully waving with a box of condoms. "I hope you didn't start -" he begins but stops dead in his track. "Cas, what's wrong?" The tall man is at his side in an instant and takes him in his arms.

Cas shoves Dean away and steps backward.

"Cas, what's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Dean is right in front of him but keeps a distance now. Cas doesn't even know if he wants to look at the man because he fears he might cry.  _Never show him that he hurt you... you are strong and he doesn't deserve you._  Gabe's words echo through his mind, so clear like it's been yesterday. Or maybe it's just because he heard them too many times already.

"Oh, nothing," he eventually says. His voice is hoarse and he automatically widens his stand and broadens his shoulder to look bigger. "Just that Charlie called a few minutes ago."

Dean's eyes widen and he swallows, visibly uncomfortable with the situation. It's a sight Cas is unfortunately familiar with and he presses his jaw together to keep the tears from coming. This is exactly the expression they always have; guilty, caught. Soon he's going to deny everything, then apologize.

"What did... I mean, did something happen or why did Charlie call?" Dean still has the box of condoms in his hands and fidgets with it.

"I think  _she_  wants you to come home. Something about the kitchen being flooded and your daughter not wanting to go back to sleep again." There it is, he said it, and he patiently waits for Dean's reaction. There's no frown, no confusion... _so it's true_.

Dean's eyes grow even wider and he nervously looks around, probably searching for his phone. "I need to call her, I -" he stops for a moment when he grabs the phone from the coffee table, "Cas, I know you've probably got a lot of questions. I swear, I can explain, I just gotta make this call first."

Cas laughs and shakes his head. "Sure you can explain it. People like you always can."

Already unlocking the screen, Dean looks at him confused. "What do you mean "people like me"?" He obviously sees the texts Charlies sent earlier and dials a number.

Cas doesn't answer while the other man turns around to make the call.

"Charlie, what happened?"

A pause and murmurs from the other side of the line.

"Okay, hold on, I'm coming home. I just -" he turns around to look at Cas and mouths "I'm so sorry" then goes back to his phone. "Listen, I probably need about twenty minutes. Tell her to go to bed and that I'm on my way."

Another pause.

"Yeah, I know, it's okay. Bye." Dean pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs before he turns back to Cas. "I'm so sorry, I have to go."

Cas huffs a laugh, trying to cover how hurt he really is. "Of course. Go home to your wife and daughter."

Dean frowns and makes a step forward. "What? Charlie isn't my... why do you even think that she is -"

"Don't shit me, Dean!" Cas yells, barely holding on to his composure, "you're not the first guy who does this to me so please spare me your shit. A woman calls you on your phone, from _your_ home, thinks that I'm some "colleague" because she apparently doesn't know where you are or who you’re with. And then she talks about your  _daughter_. What am I supposed to think about that?"

"That's not... I mean, yes, Emily is my daughter, but I can explain."

Cas has tears in his eyes. "Explain what? That you are not cheating on your family with me? God, I feel sick." He doubles over and breathes through his nose. "It all makes sense now. And I was so stupid to never wonder why we couldn't go to your place. I  _believed_  you the whole "my roommate is the grumpiest guy in the world and would never leave us alone" thing."

Dean holds out his hand and tries to grab for his shoulder, but Cas pulls back. "Cas, come on, I know how it looks like but -."

Again Cas doesn't let Dean finish the sentence. He fears that if he lets the man tell whatever story he has prepared - maybe not even telling it to the first guy - he might doubt and he might forgive and he would fall back into the hellhole of a relationship that he escaped too many times already. "I can't believe it. I can't believe that you're doing that to your family and to me. What the hell am I to you? Just a toy because your bisexual ass doesn't get fucked in a hetero relationship?"

Dean's jaw clenches and his hands are balled into fists at his side. Cas can't believe how the other man even dares to be angry now. 

"God, and I really thought you'd be special. That you would be different from all the cheating and lying assholes that I met. But no, you're just as pathetic and narcissistic and cruel as everyone else!"

"Cas, that's not fair. You've got to at least let me -"

"I don't have to do anything!" Cas almost screams. He doesn't care if any of his neighbors can listen to their fight, he wouldn't even care if the whole world hears it. "I'm so done with all the explaining and excuses, with all the apologies. I can't take it anymore and I don't want to. Congrats, Dean, really, you just shattered the last bit of hope in humanity that I still had." he sighs and sits down, tired and exhausted. "Just go," he whispers.

Dean stands right next to the couch and rests a hand on his shoulder. "Cas, come on, you gotta listen to me."

"Go!" Cas yells and jumps up. He shoves Dean towards the door and keeps pushing until the man stands in the doorway. "Go, I don't want to see you again. Ever!"

The door slams shut with Dean on the other side and Cas lets his head fall against the wood. He can hear the mechanic standing in the hallway for some time before he slowly shuffles away.


	2. Try it again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back with chapter 2/4 in this fic. I hope you like and enjoy reading it. <3

Castiel can’t sleep. He thought he’d feel relieved after ditching Dean, after bursting out with everything he should’ve told his cheating, abusive boyfriends before, but instead of feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders, he is heartbroken. Heartbroken, because yet again, he let himself fall fast and deep only to be left alone to pick up the pieces of his shattered trust in the existence of love. The sheets feel cold on his skin that night, the bedroom too big and too empty, and the traffic outside his window sounds louder in his ears than ever before. And so Cas stares at his ceiling for hours, watching a string of cobweb sway in the nights chill summer breeze.

For the rest of the week, he feels sick, almost as if he’d have a stomach bug, but after a short trip to the pharmacy and still no relief in the dull, heavy feeling, he’s sure that nothing physical and only the more than disturbing date with Dean stirs him up so much that he can barely concentrate. The two used wine glasses from that night still stand next to the sink in his kitchen and so far, he couldn’t muster the strength to rinse them. Like a symbol for his tragic love life, they kind of took a permanent space in his apartment. _Something_ _’s gotta be wrong with me that my relationships always end like this._

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Gabriel says when they meet for lunch on Saturday. His mouth is stuffed with honey-glazed chicken and the older man doesn’t even try to swallow before he keeps on ranting about Castiel’s misery. “You gotta get this Dean guy out of your head. Seriously, he isn’t worth a single thought with how he treated you. And the fact that it hasn’t been the first one to cheat on you doesn’t mean it’s your fault, only that this world is really messed up.” He takes another bite and, wielding his fork in the air, begins to list all the men Castiel used to date and who pulled him into a vortex of betrayal and emotional abuse.

“Yes, but it never happened to you. Not once!” Cas tosses in at some point. Listening to a summary of his disastrous love life - even if combined with a detailed explanation on why it hadn’t been his fault - makes his burger taste stale in his mouth.

Gabe snort. “Of course not. But you can’t really compare us in that case. My “relationships” are based on a simple principle: fun. That’s what I aim for in life. I have friends for gambling, I have friends for watching sports, and well, I have friends for sex too. Both sides agree to it, the fronts are clear, and if one party doesn’t get the vibe anymore, then we say goodbye on friendly terms. I know that you will never understand it, but that’s fine, it works out for me.” The shorter man licks his fingers and shoves the plate to the side to rest his elbows on the table. “You, on the other hand, have been born with a big heart and more love to give than anyone else that I know. Since we were kids, you were kind and empathetic, and it makes you a great companion. It sure as hell makes you my favorite brother. Just don’t tell it Mike or Lucy.” He winks and stuffs his mouth full with the last bits of bread from the bowl between them. “It’s got its pros and cons to be like that, just like everything else. Look, I might end up alone one day and die in a gutter after losing all my money playing poker in the shady backroom of a Chinese restaurant,” he shrugs, “who knows? But until then, I’ll be damned if I didn’t live my life to the fullest. And you will build a family, marry, adopt a  kid or two who I’m gonna spoil with candies and chocolate, plant an apple tree in your backyard and wash your car every Saturday while your husband paints the picket fence. You’ll grow old and one day, you’ll die peacefully surrounded by people who love you.”

Castiel huffs a laugh, shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak, but Gabe raises his finger.

“Let me finish. We have completely different approaches to life, different goals and dreams, and one isn’t worth more than the other. You feel like you’ve been beaten down and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I tell you this: You’ve crashed against some hurdles so far, got some bruises, and there might still be some left along the track. Just remember to jump next time and I promise you you’ll cross the finish line.”

Cas stares at his brother with wide eyes. The moments are rare, but sometimes, his big brother shows glimpses of what slumbers behind the facade of the candy shop owner with an endless amount of jokes and a porn collection bigger than the archive of the New York Times; sometimes, he’s almost philosophical, and he brought Cas through some pretty hard times already.

“Oh no,” Gabriel says and waves for the waiter, “I know that expression. Forget it, Cassy, I’m not in the mood for a big brotherly bonding moment. I’m more up for something sweet. This whole real talk stuff left me… what’s that word again? You know, when your blood sugar drops?.”

Castiel chuckles. “Hypoglycemic,” he answers, “and I don’t think you really understand what it means.”

Gabe shrugs. “Anyway, I want ice cream. Wanna come with me to that truck on the other side of the park?”

If he’s honest, Cas isn’t in the mood for ice cream, but his brother manages so well to get his mind off the whole Dean topic and the other option would be to drive home alone and sit in an empty apartment, so he says yes. They pay and cross the street to follow the wide gravel path through the little park.

Gabriel doesn’t stop speaking the whole way, changing topics as they go, but Cas doesn’t really follow him and drifts off with his mind. He sees a few single leaves fall from the trees around them, a first sign that the summer draws to a close soon. They pass a little playground and the younger man watches a little girl with pigtails on the swings and twin boys in the sandbox building a castle. His eyes jump from the happy activities on the play equipment to the chatter of a dozen of adults sitting on benches or kneeling on the ground, taking care of scratched knees and consoling over a broken sand mold. Cas’ smile drops and he stops dead in his track when his gaze settles on a man with dark sunglasses and a leather jacket who sits a bit apart from most of the other parents.

The dark-haired man is so focused that he doesn’t even notice that Gabriel went a couple of steps ahead before turning around.

“Cassy?”

Cas looks at his brother and then back at Dean, who has one leg crossed over the other and his hands buried in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“Shit. That’s him, right?” Gabe asks when he comes back to his brother.

The younger man only nods.

“Okay,” Gabriel says, “I know I said forget him, but before you do that, I really wanna give him a lesson. I’ve never had the chance to tell one of your cheater boyfriends off.”

Cas’ eyes widen and he frantically shakes his head. “Gabe, you can’t do that!”

“What? You can’t possibly still think about _his_ feelings here. Cassy, he deserves a bit of a dressing-down!”

“I’m thinking of his daughter! She’s got to be here somewhere, maybe his wife too, and it’s not their fault.”

Gabe sighs. “Come on, bro, it’s not like I wanna punch him. You know well better than me that I would be the one ending up with a bloody nose. But all these other parents here should know what kind of guy he is. And if his wife hears it, the better. The little girl is probably not going to notice anyway.”

“I just don’t want to be the reason for a family to break apart,” Castiel says and keeps his eyes focused on Dean, who seems to bath in the sun.

“Hey.” Gabriel grabs for the taller man’s chin and forces him to look in his eyes. “It’s _his_ fault, not yours, remember that.” And then he walks over to Dean with energetic steps. Cas follows right behind his big brother and the closer they come to the mechanic, the more nervous he gets. A few of the people around them look up and watch how Gabe stops in front of the easily four or five inches taller man and postures with his legs shoulder-width apart.

“Dean!”

The green-eyed man looks up at the calling of his name and eyes Gabriel with confusion before his gaze focuses on Cas. Castiel blushes when he looks into the eyes of his ex-almost-boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Dean asks Gabe, who snorts and grins mischievously.

“Oh, me? No, we never met. But you know my little brother pretty well, huh?”

Dean’s eyes widen and he looks alternately at Gabe and Cas, then past the dark-haired man. “Look, man,” he says with his hands raised defensively in front of himself, “I don’t know what Cas told you but it’s really not the place to - ”

“He told me enough to know what an asshole you are. Seriously? Cheating on your family? Does it feel cool to use people like that?”

Cas grabs for his brother’s shoulder. “Gabe, don’t - ”

His sentence gets interrupted by a redheaded woman who suddenly appears next to them with three cones of ice-cream balanced in her hands. “They didn’t have cookies so I got vanilla for Emily and - oh, what’s going on here?” She blinks a couple of times when her eyes land on Cas and her cheerful expression changes to a cloudy stare. “Wait, aren’t you Castiel?”

Now it’s Cas’ turn to blink at her. He recognized the voice immediately and knows that the woman in front of him is Charlie, but she’s not at all how he imagined her to look like. The fire-red hair is braided in the front and under a loose-fitting hoodie, she wears a Harry Potter shirt and a necklace with a flashy d20 pendant. “Uhm, yeah?”

“You’ve got some nerve coming here! Didn’t you hurt this guy enough?”

“Charlie, please,” Dean says and stands up to step between the raging Charlie and Gabe. He turns around and looks past the shorter man and directly at Cas. “Cas, this is Charlie, Charlie, this is Cas and his brother Gabriel.”

The dark-haired man is confused. No one reacts the way he would’ve thought. Dean doesn’t look caught, Charlie isn’t mad at Dean but at him… “I- I’m sorry, I don’t really understand,” he mumbles.

“Oh, maybe you should’ve given Dean a chance to _explain_ instead of throwing him out, then you would know who I am!”

“Charlie, I’m serious, stop -”

Before Dean can finish his sentence though, the little girl with the pigtails Cas earlier saw on the swings comes running to them and Dean picks her up with a big grin. “Hey munchkin, what can I do for you?”

“I saw auntie Charlie with our ice cream,” she says and plays with the collar of Dean’s jacket. The sun reflects brightly on her blond hair when she turns her head around and looks at Cas. “Who’s that, daddy?”

Dean licks his lips and hesitates a moment before he answers, not tearing his eyes away from his daughter. “They are my friends, Cas and Gabriel. Say hi.”

Big, green eyes stare up at Cas when Dean’s daughter smiles at him. “Hello. My name is Emily Winchester.”

_Auntie Charlie_ _…_ Cas can’t do much than stare back at her. She’s three, maybe four years old and resembles her father into the detail. It’s not even about the color of her eyes or her hair, it’s this bright smile and naturally friendly expression that make her face beam. “Nice to meet you, Emily,” he answers after a moment.

The awkward silence that spreads over their little group makes Cas feel uncomfortable. He gets the feeling that he made a huge mistake and that somehow, it’s all been a big misunderstanding. Charlie isn’t his wife or girlfriend after all? Did he maybe overreact? But still, why did Dean lie? Out of the corner of his eye, Cas sees a couple of people still watching them.

“Dean, I- I owe you an apology, I think…”

“Oh, you sure do!” Charlie says but Dean looks at her sternly before he turns back to Cas.

“It’s not the best timing, Cas.”

The dark-haired man nods. “Yes, I understand.” He blushes and starts fidgeting with his hands when he sees Emily blinking at them in confusion. Of course she can’t understand why the atmosphere is so tense.

“Okay, this is awkward, I… I’m gonna go now, I guess,” Gabriel says. He pats Cas on the shoulder and whispers in his ear. “Call me later.” Then he steps back slowly and walks further in the direction of the ice cream truck.

Cas and Dean, who still has his daughter on his arm, stare at each other until Charlie clears her throat. She is busy keeping the melting ice cream from dropping on her hands. “Hey, Emily, what about we eat this and go home? We can watch some TV if you want.”

Dean’s eyes widen and he looks at Charlie for a while. It’s like the two communicate without words and the redhead win whatever argument they had. Slowly, Dean puts Emily on the ground again and the little girl immediately runs to Charlie and grabs for one of the ice cream cones.

“Hey, I’m still the queen, a little bit more respect,” Charlie jokes and laughs loudly.

“But I’m the crown princess,” Emily answers sassy before she starts licking the vanilla ice cream. “Bye, daddy,” she says and follows Charlie in the other direction where Gabriel went.

Dean and Cas are left alone with a dozen eyes on them and without saying a word, they decide to change the location. Silently, they walk side by side on a narrow path framed by maple trees and awkwardly exchange a couple of side-eyed gazes.

“Dean, I -”

The mechanic waves with his hand. “It’s okay, Cas, I get it…”

Castiel stops in front of a bench and waits until the other man turns around to him before he says, “No, please, let me say it. I’m sorry. I think I overreacted,” he pauses and looks down at his feet, “Charlie… she’s… not your wife, right? Or your girlfriend.”

“Nope,” Dean answers, drumming a rhythm on his thigh.

“So she’s not Emily’s mom either.”

This time, the taller man just shakes his head. Cas sighs and sits down on the bench. “Okay, so I guess she’s your…?” He leaves the question unfinished and looks expectantly up at Dean who smiles timidly.

“My best friend. And roommate.”

Cas absentmindedly plays with a leave next to him. “At least that’s been true then.”

Dean chuckles darkly and sits down on the bench too. He leans back and stretches out his legs.

“Why?” Cas asks, staring ahead of him, “Why didn’t you just tell me who she really is?”

For a while, nothing is heard then the wind blowing through the trees, but eventually, Dean sighs and looks at Cas, propping up one leg on the bench. “I don’t know, I- I didn’t want to tell her about us. She always got so excited when I met someone. I didn’t want her to know until I was sure about us.”

“That’s not a reason for why you told me your roommate is a guy.”

Dean bites his lip. “To be honest, I didn’t even say it first.”

Cas tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“I said I had a roommate and you automatically assumed it’s a guy. I just didn’t correct you, I don’t know why, and later I continued it.”

There's another long moment of silence. Cas watches how a jogger runs by and how a mother slowly walks with her son at her hand. “I see. And… and Emily?” He’s not sure if Dean even wants to tell him, but in a way, he thinks he deserves to know.

The taller man takes a deep breath. He seems to have assumed to get this question, but he still needs a moment to apparently sort his thoughts. “I’m 26, Cas, no one really expects to have the father of an almost four years old daughter in front of them when they go on a date in our age. It’s been difficult to meet someone as a single father and my past dates kinda had a problem with it.”

Cas listens and watches how Dean’s face becomes sad when he tells his story. “How often did that happen?” he asks.

Dean shrugs. “Three times? I mean, since Emily got born, I haven’t been in a real relationship, more casual dating, but I always thought or hoped it could become more, you know? Usually, after some time, they said we needed to talk, told me that a father is just too stressful for them. It’s not like I can’t understand them. I just…” He bites his lip and scratches the back of his neck, “I just wanted to have a chance to develop something with someone first. I thought if we had some time without this topic, time for them to really get to know _me,_ to see that I’m not just a dad… I wanted to have a shot at a relationship that lasts longer for once.”

Castiel waits patiently while Dean seems to sort his thoughts again. He begins to see what the other man must’ve had in mind the whole time, but he still doesn’t really understand why he didn’t tell him about his daughter at some point. He thought they had already crossed a point where they could trust each other with things like this.

“I meant to tell you,” Dean continues as if he can read Cas’ mind, “I actually planned to do it that night we… well, I didn’t get that far.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas says quietly, “I should’ve let you explain.”

“No,” Dean answers vigorously, “I have to apologize. It wasn’t right to keep this from you, I know that now. And I… since that night I started to think a lot. It’s been egoistic and cruel. I don’t want to keep my daughter a secret, especially not from someone I try to build a relationship with. She’s everything to me. I love her more than anything else and that will never change. Sure, she pretty much turned my life upside down since she’s been born, but in a good way. And I can’t expect someone else to understand it or to relate. At our age, people should explore and travel, make bad decisions or search for what they want to do in their lives. It’s not fair of me to ask someone to become part of my world. I can’t be spontaneous and I will always put my daughter first. It’s not fair to expect someone our age to step back and to draw the short straw in a new relationship.”

Cas waits a moment and stares at Dean, who has tears in his eyes. Out of instinct, the dark-haired man shifts closer and cups Dean’s cheek in his hand. “If you just would’ve told me,” he says and tries to reassure the other man with a smile. “I would never expect you to put you daughter second because of me. I liked you, Dean, I _like_ you. And Emily doesn’t change that for me. I can’t say I’m happy with your decision to lie to me but I understand. I really do. Sometimes we just carry things that we don’t want to burden on others.”

Dean smiles timidly, a small sign that Castiel’s words seem to work, and he takes a couple of deep breaths.

“What if I said I’d like to try it again?” Cas asks. He is quite nervous but he knew all along that he likes Dean and couldn’t forget him. And now that this misunderstanding is cleared out and explained, nothing should hold them back to give it a second chance.

But Dean’s smile vanishes and he looks ahead of him for a few seconds before he stares down at his feet. “You’ve reacted really strongly that night. Not that I can blame you for what you thought about me, but… but it got me thinking that there’s backstory to it.”

Castiel swallows. He’s not in the mood to lay open all his bad experiences with men and the reason why he got pretty explicit when insulting Dean. He doesn’t have to, though, because his silence seems to enough of an answer for Dean.

“You deserve better, Cas. You should be with someone who can give you all his attention, someone who can take you for a short trip on weekends or just spontaneously come over at night when you had a bad day at work. I can’t give you any of this. I’m sorry, I don’t think this is gonna work.”

While Castiel has his mouth open a bit and tries to hold back the tears that threaten to run down his face, Dean leans in and kisses his cheek before he stands up.

“Goodbye, Cas.” The mechanic turns around and walks away, going back on the path they came from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you had a nice weekend. See you next chapter!<3


	3. All the pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! welcome back, this time with the chapter from both Cas' and Dean's perspectives to give a little inside on how they deal with the aftermath of last chapter's events. Let's just say: not very good.

"Cas? Hey, Cassy, what's smelling so - whoa, hey, don't let it burn!"

Castiel jerks from his thoughts and notices Gabriel sprinting to his side and taking the frying pan out of his hands. It smells burned and after a short moment of blinking back to reality, Cas sees that the grilled cheese he just made is hardly more than a black piece of coal by now. He opens the window to dispel the smoke.

"Damnit, Cas," Gabe says when he puts the pan in the sink and throws away what was meant to be their dinner. "Seriously, this isn't funny anymore." The shorter man sighs and leans against the counter. "Go, sit down on the couch, I'll join you in a minute," he commands, grabbing the Cas by the shoulders to shove him into the living room. "Oh man, this is getting worse, not better," Gabe mutters when he almost pushes the younger brother into the cushions. "We gotta talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Cas whines when he sits down like his brother commanded.

"Oh, yeah, sure. And the next time you burn down the whole apartment. You've got to stop thinking about Dean the whole time."

Castiel sighs. It's not the first time that he's been so deep in his thoughts about Dean and the whole misery of how they parted that he completely forgot everything around himself. In the past month, it happened more than once, at home and even at work. _If I'd just listened to Dean..._

"Bro," the older man starts and Cas realizes he must've said his thoughts out loud, "You gotta get over him."

"Easier said than done," Cas murmurs and presses a small pillow to his chest.

"Okay, I see, you _really_ liked him, I get that. But still, Cas, it's not the end of the freaking world. There will be others like him. And look, you can even see it as an improvement, because now you know you're not cursed. Dean didn't cheat on you after all. You'll see, the next guy will be better."

Castiel snorts. "Yes, you're right, an improvement. Dean has been the only one so far who wanted to be together with me. No open relationship, no second boyfriend for the weekend, just me! And I screwed it up because I was so angry and I jumped to a conclusion before even..."

"Hey, stop this whole self-loathing crap. Maybe he didn't cheat on you, but he lied to you and that's cruel too, even if it's been for the sake of his daughter." Gabriel sighs. He lets himself fall back against the cushions, "I'm worried, okay? While searching for Mr. Right you forgot to live, man. In the last couple of years I never saw you just going out with someone for fun, instead you already planned a wedding from day one on. If you could see yourself now, it's not healthy."

"I'm not like you," Cas answers.

Gabriel chuckles and shifts closer to Cas. "You don't have to be like me. I just wish you would forget this whole big plan of finding your Prince Charming. Just for one evening. I want you to go out and have some fun. Like me and the little redhead I'm seeing from time to time. You remember? She's so sassy and fierce, dancer's body, oh, mhh, we really have our fun at night and -"

"Gabe, come to the point." Cas really doesn't want to listen to his brother's sexual adventures. Over the years, he's heard and seen way enough to scar him for the rest of his life.

The shorter man clears his throat. "Yes, of course, sorry, I drifted off. Anyway, what I meant to say is that you should go out with someone. Just casually."

"And I bet you already know someone for me."

"How did you guess?" Gabe asks affectedly. "Look, there's this guy I know, he's not necessarily your lumberjack kind of guy, but he's really entertaining. He knows how to have a great time, but he's classy and not as wild as me, so probably better for you. You don't need to ask for his family or how his career is going, you don't have to get to know him at all, actually, and just talk about whatever you want without hesitation. I heard he's pretty good in bed, too, and -"

"Stop, Gabriel," Castiel interjects with a blush on his face, "that's not... I couldn't just..."

The shorter man sighs. "Okay, okay. It doesn't have to end in sex. Just go out for dinner, get out of this apartment for once. Come on, Cassy, do it for me. I promise I'll never ask you to do anything again."

Cas looks at him for a moment. He doesn't want to have a date, not yet, but he knows himself that he's been lazy and depressed and pretty anti-social lately. Maybe Gabe is right and a change in tactics is required now if he wants to get over Dean. That's got to be the goal, after all, since there's no chance anymore to have a relationship with the mechanic. "Okay," he says after a deep breath, "but only if you stop calling me 'Cassy'."

Gabriel grins mischievously. "Oh, lil bro, you know you love it."

 

++++++++++

 

Dean presses down on the button in a steady rhythm and watches how the scenery on the TV screen changes every time, sometimes people, sometimes nature, and sometimes simple darkness staring back at him. He hears muffled chuckling, then the front door opening and closing, telling him that Charlie finally managed to break away from the lips of her date. The two have been standing in front of the door for minutes and Dean was able to see Charlie's red ponytail bobbing from side to side the whole time. Whatever they did outside must've left her breathless with how she suddenly slumps down next to him on the couch.

"What a night," she sighs and snuggles to his side. "I see you had fun too with the... uhm... _Bible Channel_ ?"

Dean blinks a couple of time and then turns the TV off. "I was just zapping," he says and yawns, "I'm gonna go to bed now anyway." He kisses her on the forehead and stands up. "Night, Charlie"

The redhead doesn't let him go so easily, though, and pulls him back on the couch. Even with only the light from the street lamp outside, Dean can see her furrow her brow. "You stayed at home all night? Even though Emily is with Sam for the weekend?"

Dean shrugs. "Yeah. What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe go out?" Charlie snorts and pokes him in the rib. "Seriously, dude, you gotta stop this lovesick moping."

Dean groans and stands up, walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water and to get away from Charlie, but she follows him. In the last couple of weeks, since the whole Castiel thing on the playground, she gets on his nerves, tries to get him to talk about it or offers to watch Emily so he can go out. But where? What is he supposed to do all alone somewhere? He made his decision that it's not the right time to date and he's going to stick to it.

"I know you don't wanna hear it, but it's true, Sam and I agree on it."

Turning around, the tall man looks at her. "Yeah, thanks again for telling my brother, by the way."

Charlie crosses her arms, taking a broad pose and indicating that she's not gonna take any of his shit. "Well, somebody had to! You wouldn't have ever told him and he noticed how absentminded you are lately and how often you call him to just casually talk about everything and nothing."

Dean snorts. "What, am I not allowed to call my brother now?"

The redhead steps closer and her angry expression changes to one of sympathy and compassion. "Dean, of course we all know how deep your relationship with Sam is, but come on, you've never been one to talk about politics or the weather. It's just... I know you miss Cas, and if you don't want to call him and try to fix -"

"Charlie, I said it before, I'm fine. Cas and I weren't meant to be, that's life. I'm not moping around. I've got you and Sam and Emily. I don't need him." Dean puts on his best smile, but it's obvious how fake it is with how he trembles.

"Look, I'm just saying that you shouldn't put your whole life on pause because you've got a daughter. I love Emily, you know that, and you're an amazing father. But you don't have to be at her side 24/7. Sometimes I think you forget that even though you're a dad, you're still allowed to have fun. And you had fun with Cas, I know that. I mean, I didn't know you were with him at that time, but you were happy and relaxed. Now, the only time you ever smile is around Emily."

Dean stares down at the glass in his hands and bites his lip. "She's everything to me, Charlie," he says, "That's something I can't expect someone else to understand and to respect."

"Of course you can!" Charlie snorts, "Do you think other single parents don't love their kids? And they still manage to build relationships, even at our age."

The tall man stays silent after that and scratches the back of his neck. "It's late, I'm going to bed," he says eventually and passes Charlie without another word. She doesn't follow him upstairs this time and so Dean climbs under the sheets in the darkness of his bedroom and stares at the ceiling. The redhead's words echo in his mind and Dean tries to shut them off. He's not an idiot, of course he knows how happy he's been with Cas and he even admits that he misses the other man deeply. The realization that he fucked up creeps into his head and Dean starts to wonder if he's made the wrong decision to reject Cas' offer for a second chance.

 

++++++++++

 

Castiel looks at his reflection in the mirror and tries to hold back the tears that are forcing their way to the surface. _I'm pathetic..._

This whole evening has been a disaster; even though nothing bad happened, the food was great, and the conversation surprisingly interesting. But Cas still couldn't help but think of Dean and it slowly drives him crazy that he can't get the broad-shouldered mechanic out of his head. When his date, Balthazar, ordered one of the most expensive wines, Cas imagined that Dean probably would ask for beer in a bottle; when the tall, blond man with his v-neck shirt and colorful scarf started to recite a French poem, Cas remembered how Dean has had his tongue tied in a knot trying to pronounce the title of a French book Cas has been reading a while back; and when Balthazar played with a strawberry of his dessert while oh so seductively looking at him with a mischevious smile, Cas thought he saw piercing green eyes in front of him instead of the other man's blue ones. Castiel excused himself to the bathroom and that's where he stands now in front of the sink and tries to calm himself with deep breathing.

He stays in front of the mirror for some more minutes, splashing cold water on his face several times and not at all caring about the gazes from men entering and leaving the bathroom while he stands there, breathing heavily. At some point, he decides to go back to the table, also because he realizes that Balthazar must wonder what takes him so long.

The blond man already paid and waits for Cas, who approaches the table with dry hands and eyes, a forced smile on his face. "The night is still young and it's gorgeous outside. What do you say, want to go for a walk? There's a nice little park just around the corner," Balthazar says.

Castiel is actually more up for a hot shower and the comfort of his sheets but he is too shy to say no, so he ends up walking alongside the other man, crossing the street and making their way through a crowd waiting in front of one of the most popular restaurants in town. Cas takes a look around, frowning. He feels like he's been here before and when they turn around a corner, he suddenly knows why. Right next to him is the place Gabe took him to have lunch a couple of weeks ago, which means that the park Balthazar talked about is the one where he saw Dean and his daughter. The dark-haired man stops for a moment before following his companion. They take exactly the same path Cas and Gabe took on this fateful afternoon and thankfully, Balthazar doesn't engage him in a conversation because Castiel doesn't know if he can trust his voice right now. His heartbeat pounds in his ears and he feels a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead despite the chill of the night's air. Every step they take recalls the memory of that day and just because it fits perfectly in his messed up life, Balthazar stops at the gate to the now dark and deserted playground.

"Oh, yes, let's swing," the man exclaims excitedly, "I didn't sit on one of those in years. Well, at least not on a playground, and the swing wasn't exactly constructed for kids, so... anyway, come on!"

Cas watches how Balthazar runs to the set of swings and eagerly sits on one. testing the hold for a moment before rocking forth and back with increasing energy. The dark-haired man just stands there and watches, not moving a single finger while images of a little girl with blond pigtails rush through his mind, interrupted by visions of a tall man with bright, green eyes and a radiating smile. Cas stares ahead of him and doesn't even notice that Balthazar runs to him because his head swims and he has to hold on to the backrest of a bench to keep himself from falling.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Castiel isn't sure but still answers with "yes".

"Come on, sit down." Balthazar guides him and takes out a small flask, offering it to him. "Drink, it's whiskey."

Taking a great sip, Castiel coughs. He's not used to the stinging taste and the burn in his throat. He nipped at Dean's glass once and the other man laughed at his reaction. _Stop, go away!_

"I think it's better I call a cab and get you home, huh?"

The dark-haired man just nods. "I'm sorry," he adds, "I ruined the evening."

Balthazar tries to reassure him. "No, you didn't," he smiles, "I've had way worse first dates." They stand up from the bench and walk back to where they came from, all while the blond man types something on his phone. "Okay, cab is on the way."

Silence falls over them and it makes Cas feel a bit uneasy. He doesn't feel the déjà vu or panic attack or whatever he just experienced having a firm grip on him anymore but now he feels rather ashamed for letting the other man witness his almost breakdown. "You don't have to wait with me here," he says when they reach the street.

"Nah, it's fine. I want to make sure you get home safely. And anyway, I need to go in the same direction so we can share the cab."

For a moment, Cas wonders how Balthazar even knows where he's going, but his tired brain is just too exhausted to examine this question in detail.

"You were pretty quiet tonight," the other man says, "Did I bore you?"

Cas' head jerks up. "What? No, you didn't, it's just..." he sighs, "I probably should've been honest with you and should've told you that I recently came out of a -" he stops. Out of what exactly? A relationship? A two-month-dating-the-guy-who-broke-my-heart-thing?

"Ah, yes, right. Your ex. Gabe told me you had some rough weeks lately."

Even though Cas' eyes widen, he probably shouldn't be surprised at all that his big brother let Balthazar in on his misery.

"he told me to to be nice and to look out for you. To be honest, I didn't know what to expect. Certainly not such a hot piece of ass who's still shy and modest, not as a brother of Gabe."

Castiel snorts. Yes, not many people would guess they were raised together.

"Anyway," Balthazar goes on, "let's just say I was pleasantly surprised. And even though our evening got cut short now, I hope we can do this again someday."

The dark-haired man blinks a couple of times. he wouldn't have thought Balthazar to want to go out with him again, and even though the other man is great company and Cas feels flattered, he shakes his head. "I don't think I'm ready yet. Dean and I... we didn't exactly part on good terms and I need more time to get over him. I can't expect you to wait for that."

Balthazar shrugs and smiles softly. "It's a shame. But if that's how you feel, it's fine. And in case you need some help with forgetting that guy, I have great experience at letting people only think of one thing." He winks and Cas assumes he's not even exaggerating.

Their cab arrives and they spend the drive with casually chatting. Well, it's mostly Balthazar who talks and rants about the movie Titanic. Saying goodnight is awkward for Cas, but the other man assures him that everything is fine and also reminds him to call if he wants to have some fun.

Once the door closes behind him, Cas is all alone in his apartment again and he sinks to the ground, back against the wall. He pulls out his phone and tabs on his contact list, scrolling to the name of his brother. But before he reaches "G", Dean's name flickers over the screen and for a moment, just a second or two, Cas' finger hovers over the mechanic's number. _No, he made it clear that it's over..._

 

++++++++++

 

"Okay, that's it, I have enough," Charlie exclaims when she snatches the remote out of Dean's hand, turns off the TV and throws the remote across the room where it disappears behind a flower pot.

"Hey!" Dean looks at her with anger an confusion. "What the hell?"

"Exactly. What the hell, Dean? I can't take it anymore. This is an intervention." And with that, she moves the armchair right in front of the couch and sits down with her arms crossed.

Dean rolls his eyes. Seriously, an intervention? It already seemed strange to him how insistent Sam had been at taking Emily today, so he's probably involved in this plan. _Traitor!_ "Leave me alone, Charlie, we already had this discussion. I'm fine." His groaning is turning desperate with how many times he had to say those words by now.

"No, you're not, and I won't take any of your excuses anymore. Here," she grabs for Dean's phone on the coffee table, "You're gonna call Cas now."

With wide eyes and a bemused but baffled smile, Dean snorts, takes the phone and puts it back on the table. "I most certainly will not! What's wrong with you?"

The redhead's intense stare doesn't falter for one moment and her voice is getting even louder. "Wrong with me? The question is, what's wrong with _you_? Only that I already know the answer. You look like a picture of misery for weeks now and it's driving me crazy. You miss Cas and you've got this whole patented self-loathing crap going on because you fucking know that you messed up. Be a man and make this right." To emphasize her determination, Charlie picks up a pillow from the couch and starts to slap Dean with it.

"Hey, hey, stop," Dean yells and yanks the cushion from her grip, "Seriously, Charlie, stop it. Why are you so freaking adamant about me and Cas?"

"Because I'm your best friend, and I see you hurting. I know you'll regret it one day, hell, you already do!"

Dean shakes his head. "I will never regret putting my daughter first."

Charlie clenches her fists and groans loudly in discontent. "You can infuriate me so much, Dean Winchester. You know exactly that's not what I meant." She sighs and her voice becomes softer, "Look, you may not want to hear it, but Emily isn't gonna stay three forever. Soon, she'll go to school and even though she's always gonna stay daddy's little girl, she'll grow up eventually. You love her and I know you would sacrifice everything for her, including your own happiness, but what do you think would she say if one day she'd know that you stupidly decided to ditch the man you love because you thought it's your duty towards her?"

Nervously playing with the hem of the pillowcase, Dean snorts. "I'm... I'm not in love with Cas. We only dated for two months, that doesn't really count as anything."

The redhead just raises an eyebrow. "You might be able to fool Sam, but not me, Mr." She shifts closer to the edge of her seat and looks Dean deep in the eyes. "I've never seen you like this before, not even when Bela left, so I am quite sure that you love him. And it doesn't matter if you dated for two weeks or two years, love is love."

Dean huffs a laugh and thinks about a snarky comeback but something about what she said seems to form cracks in the walls he carefully built around his emotions. After a few more moments while biting his lips and staring ahead as if looking right through Charlie, these walls begin to break down. "He probably already forgot me," he whispers.

Charlie sighs and her expression softens. "Well, at least you finally admit it."

Dean groans and throws his head back. "What did I do? It was all good but of course I fucked it up. Twice. I shouldn't have lied to him in the first place, that was just unfair. Not only to Cas but to Emily and you too. Damn, I'm such an idiot."

"Yeah, you are. But that's what I'm trying to say. Make it right. Call him, apologize, I bet he'll give you the second chance. Or third?"

The blond man's groaning grows louder. "As if he would take me back. I bet he already found someone else. Someone better, someone who treats him the way he deserves..."

Charlie pulls at his arm and forces him to look at her. "But you are all of that. Seriously, you gotta stop thinking you're like your dad. You are attentive and caring and kind, you always lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, even in the middle of the night. Marriage material, I think that's what people would call you."

Dean shakes his head and laughs. "I think you're exaggerating."

"I don't. And Cas probably knows. Look, sure, you messed up a lot and you have to make up for it, but you're a genuinely nice guy and Cas would be stupid to let you go again."

"And what if he already found someone else?"

Charlie sighs. "Will you please stop being so pessimistic? Call him, you'll know then. And in case he says no - which I doubt - I'm gonna go straight to that bakery around the corner and get you a whole pie. And the biggest cup of ice cream I can find."

Dean looks at her with a frown. Should he really? Charlie is right, he misses Cas a lot and even though he doesn't exactly admit to himself that he might be in love with the other man, he can't deny that his feelings are deep and that he was indeed moping because of their breakup. But is it right to call Cas now and ask for another chance? How can he even begin to explain why he acted like this and why he changed his mind? No matter how hard it'll get to make it up to Cas, though, Dean knows that he'll regret not even having tried it.

"Okay," he says after a while and grabs for the phone. Charlie squeaks excitedly and looks at him in anticipation. Dean clears his throat and raises his eyebrow, which gives Charlie the hint.

"Oh, sure, you wanna be alone for this," she stands up from the armchair and kisses his cheek. "Just don't fuck it up again, okay?" With that, she walks upstairs and Dean is left with nothing but his phone and boiling nervousness.

"Okay, shit, come on, you can do it," he tries to reassure himself before taking a few deep, calming breaths and pressing on Cas' name in his contacts. The dialing tone rings loud in his ear and with every second that Cas doesn't answer, Dean gets even more nervous. When finally a voice begins to speak, he is not sure if he's sad or relieved that it's only the answering machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger.... I know, don't punch me. Next chapter (the last one) you'll see how the two pining lovebirds will solve the problem and then a short epilogue to wrap it all up <3<3 Love y'all and thank you so much for the comments and kudos


	4. Happily Ever After - At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter for the end of this fic. I really hope you enjoy it.

Sunday is laundry day. Cas is busy filling the machine in the basement of his apartment building and neatly folding the clothes he already took out of the dryer. Like most of the other Sundays, a couple of people also use this day to catch up on all the things that got neglected over a busy week and Cas usually doesn't exchange more than a hello or a nod with them. Except for Jody. His next-door neighbor puts her huge humper on the machine right next to him with a sigh and begins to fill him in on the latest news. As a single mom of two teenage girls and a cop at the local police station, she's always got tons of stories to tell and Cas gladly listens. When he moved in some years ago, she invited him over for dinner on the very first evening, stuffing him to the brim with delicious casserole and pie and not even once holding back with her honest comments just because he's a guest and new to the building. That's not her style. Since then, it became somewhat of a tradition for them to spend at least one evening a month together, eating nice homemade food and drinking wine while her daughters Claire and Alex bicker at the table. Cas never says much but Jody also never expects him to lead the conversation and so he simply enjoys the company and watches the other three in their family dynamic.

"You gotta come over next weekend," Jody says when the first load of her laundry spins in the machine, "I finally got Donna to tell me the recipe for her chicken salad."

Cas promises to come and kisses Jody on the cheek before taking his fresh clothes upstairs. He's happy about the invitation. It's going to be a welcome distraction for him.

Back in his apartment, he immediately puts his stuff away before walking into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Gabriel is coming over again, just like most of the nights lately since Cas told him about the date with Balthazar, and no matter how short and innocent his big brother may look like, Cas knows that he could always eat a horse. As long as it's sugar-coated, anyway. In the middle of slicing some bacon, he realizes that he doesn't have anything to drink at home aside from a couple bottles of water in the fridge and herbal tea in the cabinet, and he doubts that the other man will be happy about it so he grabs inside his pocket to pull out his phone and call his brother to bring something. Only that his phone isn't in his jean. Cas frowns. _Hmm, I probably left it in the bedroom before I went downstairs._ He wipes his hands on a towel and quickly walks into the bedroom to fetch his phone from the nightstand. In the two hours or so that he's been in the basement, he probably already got a couple of missed calls and messages from his brother. The screen lights up and Cas almost jumps with what he sees on it. The phone slips out of his hand and for a second, he doesn't even dare to pick it up but he's got to be sure that he didn't hallucinate. He kneels down on the carpet next to his bed and turns the device around almost in slow-motion. No, he didn't read it wrong and he also didn't have a hallucination either. He's got a missed call. From Dean.

Standing up with wobbly legs, Cas stares at the screen some more time, always pressing the home button again when the screen goes dark. Dean tried to call him about an hour ago. The dark-haired man sits down on the edge of his mattress in the darkness of his bedroom and breathes heavily. His heart races, his pulse pounds in his ears, and a million thoughts rush through his mind. _Why did Dean try to call? What does he want? Will he call again or should I call back?_ A bit of nausea creeps up to him and Cas has to clutch to his sheets to calm down again. He did so well the last days, without thinking of Dean too much over the day and without lying awake every single night. But now everything is crashing down on him again, all the feelings and longing and aching for the other man, and it makes Cas a bit dizzy. He jumps up from the bed and nervously walks up and down, still staring at the screen of his phone. His finger hovers over the missed call. he could just swipe to the left and erase the notification. Or he could swipe to the right and call back. This decision suddenly feels heavier than anything he ever had to do, but after a deep breath and biting his lip, he swipes right.

the dial tone rings only twice before Dean answers on the other side of the line. He sounds as if he's out of breath. "Cas?"

Hearing this voice after weeks of just envisioning it in his head, Cas is dumbfounded and lost for words. "Yes," he almost screams when he seems to find his voice again and then rather wants to hang up and hide under his sheets for sounding so needy.

"You called me back," Dean says, matter-of-factly, but it sounds like he's actually surprised.

"Yes," Cas answers, again, and adds quickly, "I was doing laundry. I just saw that you called."

There is an awkward silence with only their breathing sounding through the phone until the mechanic clears his throat and Cas sees it right before his mental eye how the blond man licks his lips and scratches the back of his neck. Dean used to do that a lot in the beginning of their relationsh- ... dating. In the beginning of their dating. "So, uhm... how are you?"

Cas blushes and is glad that Dean can't see him right now. Should he answer honestly? _I miss you and I can hardly think about anything else than you and please change your mind and go out with me again._ He doesn't say this, though. "Oh, uhm, fine, I guess." Swallowing, he asks back, "And you?"

Dean huffs a laugh. "Good, yeah, great... I'm fine too..." after a long pause, the other man sighs. "No, you know what? I'm not fine. Actually, i haven't been fine in weeks and it's all because I fucked up."

Cas blinks. He doesn't dare to hope but his racing heart tells something else, and so he waits for Dean to go on.

"I miss you, Cas."

There it is, the words that have Cas flying on the highest clouds and holding his breath. He begins to shake and just wants to burst out how much he missed Dean too. But something is holding him back. They've been at this point before and the last time, it ended with Dean saying no and going away. It shattered Cas' heart into a million pieces and he's still busy healing it, so he tells himself to not rush in again at high speed. "You do?" he asks carefully and tries to hide the lump in his throat.

"Yeah," Dean sighs, "I've been such an idiot. I'm so sorry, Cas, I lied to you. And then in the park..." His voice trembles and he takes a few pauses in between sentences, "That was probably the most stupid thing I've ever said. I mean, I still think you deserve way better than me, but... you asked me to try it again and I said no even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss you in that moment. I thought I had to, that I needed to protect you from my life and protect my daughter from me going out with someone. But that's bullshit. I can't make the decision for you and I won't help anyone by holding back what I feel. I thought I had to deny myself this thing with you to have more time with Emily but in the past weeks, I neglected her a lot because I was sad that we broke up. I feel horrible about that."

There's a long moment of silence in which neither of them says a word, maybe because they both wait for the other one to take the next step. It's just hanging in the air, this unspoken conclusion resulting from Dean's words. They both know what it is, but they're afraid to say it out loud in the fear to scare the other one off. They've been to this point before and now the worry to run into a brick wall again holds them back. And even though Cas wants it so badly, he feels like it's Dean's turn to ask.

Which the mechanic does. "Look, Cas, it's been all shitty, especially from my side, but I would just like to explain again. Calmly, without interference. I wanna tell you the whole story, but not on the phone. Would you... uhm, would you meet me? For dinner? or lunch, if that's better for you?"

The dark-haired man's mouth moves without him even thinking properly. "Yes!" he says, way louder than intended.

The other side of the line stays quiet for a moment before Dean asks surprised, "You... you do?"

Cas chuckles. "Yeah." He didn't mean to exclaim it so eagerly, but it's still true.

"You don't want to think about it again? Maybe sleep one night and tell me tomorrow? I mean, I wouldn't blame you, I've been quite the jerk and you have all right to not want to talk to me."

"But we're already talking right now," Cas deadpans.

After a short moment of awkward silence, they both start to laugh. God, how Cas missed this.

"So," Dean says eventually, making some sort of drumming noises in the background, probably with his finger on the table or so, "Are you free next week? maybe Thursday? If I remember correctly, you don't work that long on Thursdays, right?"

Cas smiles softly. "Yeah, you remembered correctly. Seven would be fine for me. Pick some place quiet and not too fancy."

"Sure, yeah, I can do that."

Now would be the perfect moment to say goodbye but it's obvious that neither of them wants to let go just yet. There's nothing to talk about anymore for now, though, and the silence that spreads across the line is on the edge to awkwardness.

"Yeah, uhm," Dean says and clears his throat, "Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean," the dark-haired man answers. After a moment of thinking, he adds, "I missed you too, by the way."

Hanging up is hard work but when they eventually do it, Cas is not only physically but also mentally back in his bedroom. He leans back on the mattress and grins from ear to ear. He's going to see Dean again. And on top of that, it's been the mechanic who made the move and not his usual needy self. Yes, Cas wanted to play hard to get, not rush into it again, as some sort of self-defense and maybe even a bit of revenge on Dean, but when the beautiful, green-eyed man basically said he made a big mistake by letting Cas go, he just couldn't hold back anymore. And in his mind, he already plans what to wear on Thursday to impress Dean.

When the doorbell rings, Cas jerks from his daydreaming, though, and realizes that he completely forgot about his brother and dinner. Oh, Gabe is not going to be happy.

 

"Don't let yourself get pulled in again by his plump, pink lip lips okay? And don't take any crap from him. One wrong word and you call me. Promise?"

Cas rolls his eyes at his brother who sits on the taller man's bed, crosslegged, and rants his opinion about this date while sucking on a lollipop. "I really appreciate your concern but there's nothing to worry about. Seriously, I can handle it." And he truly believes that he can. Better than the stupid tie around his neck, at least, which he tries to tie for the third time now but it still won't look good. Cas throws it on the bed where it lands right next to the other four he already tried on. Maybe no tie at all is the better choice after all. He loosens the top button of his dark blue shirt, then another and another.  _Oh no, now I look like a pimp._ He buttons the shirt up again until he finds the right mixture of classy and sexy.  _Yes, this will work._

He turns away from the mirror and looks at Gabe. "Huh? What do you say?" he asks, turning around himself once and spreading his arms.

"I still think you're making a big mistake. You said before that you could handle it and in the end you were crying on my nice sheets."

Cas groans and goes back to picking out his clothes. He's got to have a pair of black jeans somewhere that lets his butt look amazing. "I know I haven't been exactly easy in the past with my failed relationships but -"

"Not exactly easy?" Gabriel interrupts him, "Are you kidding me? I've seen more cheesy breakups and lovesick moping than a writer for the Hallmark Channel. Only that I've never witnessed a happy ending. Not that I don't gladly lend a shoulder, but I can still try to keep you from running into the next brick wall. Again."

With an exhausted sigh, Cas sits down next to his brother and looks him deep in the eyes. "But I don't. Not this time. And yes, I said that before, but it's different with Dean.  _He_ wants to see me, called me and wanted to talk.  _He_ said he misses me. I'm in the position to decide now. I'm not running after the guy this time, Gabe."

Grumpily sucking on his lollipop, the older brother mumbles something that Cas didn't quite understand. "Can you repeat that?"

With a groan, Gabriel falls on his back, looking like a sulking child. "Fine!" he says extra loudly. "Now go and meet your gloss magazine cover model of a boyfriend. I'll be eating all your food while you're gone."

"Some people would kill for your metabolism."

"Yeah, whatever. The second tie was the best, by the way."

Cas eyes widen and he looks at his watch to see if he has enough time to change again.

"I was just kidding, bro," Gabriel announces, "You look perfect. Now go!"

 

Dean already sits at their table when Cas arrives. For a moment, the dark-haired man just watches how the mechanic fumbles with the menu and keeps looking at his watch before he steps closer so that Dean sees him. It's pretty obvious that Cas isn't the only one nervous about this evening.

"Hey, I'm so glad you could make it," Dean says and stands up to pull out the chair for Cas.

The atmosphere around them is cozy and relaxed, a lot of groups of all kinds of people gather around the rectangular tables and chat and laugh. It's not too crowded so they can talk without shouting, but it's also not so empty that they would constantly be approached by a waitress or so that the tables next to them could follow their conversation. And still, Dean and Cas just there for a couple of minutes and stare everywhere but each other. This is not how he expected the evening to begin.

A waitress taking their order breaks the ice a little bit and they fall into a casual chat. When their dinner arrives and they both exclaim how amzing the burgers taste, some of the natural, familiar way they used to be around each other comes back. Dean has a bit of sauce on his chin and Cas bites his lip when he sees it. When they were still a thing, he would've just reached across the table to wipe it away and then lick it off his finger in the most lascivious way. Now, though, that would be going way too far. But the sheer thought, the memory of how they used to be, kills off some of the awkwardness.

"How's Charlie doing? And Emily." It's pretty obvious that Dean wasn't prepared for this kind of question out of the blue, but Cas wanted to get this conversation on the road. And beside a genuine interest in the people in Dean's life, he thought that signalizing willingness to talk about this topic would at least help a bit.

"Oh, uhm," Dean coughs, swallowing a piece of bacon, "They're fine. Charlie, she has a new girlfriend, Dorothy, and they are really sweet together."

Cas blinks. "Oh, so... she's queer?"

"A walking rainbow flag."

The dark-haired man chuckles. His whole jealousy seems so silly now. But how was he supposed to know?

Dean scratches the back of his neck. "And Emily, well, she's growing like damn weed. Seriously, I turn around one second and it feels like she got older again. I'm not sure my heart can take it."

"She really seemed like a very cheerful and clever girl to me."

"Oh, she is," Dean agrees and takes the last bite of his burger before he shoves the plate to the side and sighs. He stares inside his glass and moves a little crumble back and forth in front of him. "I'm sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have lied to you," he says eventually.

"No, Dean, please. We had this before. You already apologized and I get it."

But Dean just shakes his head. "Let's just pretend for a moment that this talk in the park never happened, okay? That was a dick move. I shouldn't have just gone. It wasn't fair to let you in on some of the story and then just leave you there." He takes a deep breath. "I asked you to meet me tonight cause I thought it's a good idea to give this a fresh start. Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to forget that I lied to you, but maybe I could just tell you what you need and want to know. And then maybe we can talk about us."

Cas smiles softly and nods. "I'd like that."

"Okay, good, so... anything I should start with? Something that you want to know first?"

The dark-haired man tilts his head to the side and thinks for a moment. "I guess, if it doesn't bother you, I'd like to know about Emily's mom. And how you got to take care of your daughter by yourself."

Dean licks his lips. "That's just fair." There's a moment of silence and for a second, Cas even thinks that his question was too straightforward to begin with, but the other man answers it anyway. "So, uhm, Emily's mom, her name's Bela. We met in college and she's been an exchange student from England. We didn't actually date or so, not even friends-with-benefits or something like that. I guess you could rather call it letting off steam. Or angry sex. It happened a couple of times and that's been it. at least I thought so. When she told me she's pregnant, though..." Dean coughs lightly and takes a sip from his drink before he continues, "Let's just say things changed. I've never been in love with her, not really. But, even though we were so young and just about to finish college, we both decided to keep the baby. Abortion has never been a topic. I mean, I don't know if she thought about it, but if, then she never told me. We were naive and thought we would make it work."

The waitress comes to their table again, asking if they wanted a dessert. Dean is so absorbed by his own thoughts that he doesn't even order pie, so Cas does it for him.

"Anyway," the mechanic says when they're alone again, "The months passed and we suddenly realized that we're really gonna have a baby. I know it sounds stupid, but it wasn't as present to me before. And believe me, I had many sleepless nights in that time, worrying how the hell I was supposed to care for a child."

Cas remembers Dean telling him that his mother had died when he was a kid, his father followed her a couple of years later, and that his surrogate father lived hundreds of miles away. Of course he must've freaked out, overwhelmed by the prospect of having a baby.

"But I got my shit together, I really did. I had a pretty good job waiting for me after a big ass company saw one of my projects at a fair at my college. But the hours I would've had to work and how often I would've had to go abroad for it... it wasn't actually family-friendly."

"So you put the offer down?" Cas asks and Dean nods.

"Yeah," he says, "I didn't want to end up like... uhm, well, like my dad. I wanted to be around to see her grow up, you know? So instead of taking the job, I sold them my idea and the prototype of something I built for an engine. I'm not gonna bore you with the details, but let's just say I ended up with enough money to pay back my student credit and buy a little house in the suburbs. It was supposed to be a surprise for Bela."

"Wow," Cas whispers, "You really put a lot of effort into it."

Dean chuckles darkly, "Yeah, well, she wasn't as happy about it as I hoped. I mean, sure, I shouldn't have expected anything. We weren't a couple but I- I don't actually know what I thought. End of the story: She already had a job offer in London that I didn't know about before. She wanted to take it, something really fancy with a company car and so on. But a kid didn't really fit in that lifestyle."

"A bit late for that discovery," Cas murmurs. He has an idea where this story is leading, and although he can't blame someone for feeling overwhelmed by the huge amount of responsibility that comes with a child, especially at a young age, he already has developed a bit of hate for this Bela for taking the easy exit and leaving all of the responsibility on Dean.

"Exactly what I said to her. She wanted to give our girl up for adoption. I couldn't believe it. I mean, yes, she changed her mind and wanted more of her life or whatever, but she didn't even  _ask_ me about it. She just assumed I would want that too."

"But you didn't."

Dean shakes his head. "Of course not. I couldn't stand the thought that someone else raises my daughter. I bought a house, for god's sake. I took a job as a mechanic in a shop right around the corner to be with her and even put in my contract that I could switch shifts if something comes up with Emily."

 _Wow._ Cas can't really relate to what it must've felt like for Dean, but the story he just hears makes him realize how much he loves his daughter and how far he would go for her. And a bit, he can understand the other man's motives for lying to him now.

"Bela and I had an agreement and I got full custody right after Emily was born," Dean goes on, "I probably didn't sleep more than an hour for months. Seriously, if it weren't for my brother, who just started college at that time, and Charlie, I probably would've failed so badly. I had put all my money in the house and with the little income from the shop, I couldn't actually have been able to care for my daughter. It was a stupid mistake cause I calculated with two incomes and suddenly I had to do it with one."

"And the mother didn't pay anything? How is that legal?"

Dean straightens in his seat and takes the first bite of the cherry pie the waitress just brought, offering Cas to share with him by shoving the dish into the middle of the table. Usually, Cas wouldn't have taken anything from Dean's pie, but he's shocked to hear all that happened to the other man and needs the sugar.

"Well, turned out, Bela's job didn't pay as well as she thought. At least at the beginning, so there wasn't much left for Emily. It's different now, though, so don't worry, I'm not drowning in debts or anything. But back then... phew, it was hard. I swear, Charlie saved my ass. She is this IT genius kind of super-nerd, works from home, and we're friends since the very first day of college when she burst into my dorm room, drunk, naked, and covered in finger color."

Cas snorts and spreads half of his glass of coke on the table. "That's a joke, right?"

"Oh, you have no idea. That's not even the weirdest shit we did," Dean says and laughs out loud, throwing his head back like he always does when he tells one of his bad jokes or when something funny happens on their favorite show. God, Cas missed him so much.

"Anyway," the mechanic goes on, "She moved in with me, paid me rent, and on top of that, she looked after Emily so often, I could never pay back the babysitter salary. Sam too, and his girlfriend Eileen." He sighs, "Yeah, so, that's my story. My name is Dean Winchester and I'm a single father of the most wonderful three-year-old girl in the world."

They eat for a while until the whole pie is gone. "And Emily?" Cas asks, "Has she seen her mother?"

Dean nods and swallows a fork full of filling, "Yeah, once. Bela came here about a year ago I think? Emily knows about her, I never withheld it, but, that's about it. Bela told me about all the places she's visited and brought a doll from Dubai for Emily. She doesn't like it. And to be honest, Bela didn't even seem to be as happy as he pretended to be. She was probably too proud to tell me, though."

Cas shrugs and taps on the table with his fork. "Do you ever fear that she might... I don't know... try to get Emily back?"

The other man's sigh is enough of an answer, but Cas lets him talk anyway. "Yeah, sure, every couple of months. But so far, she never said a word about stuff like that. And even if, I think I would have good chances, even in court."

Cas grins. "Yeah, I think so too. And I'd like to testify for you."

"Yes?" Dean grins back and leans a bit closer, "You would have to see me and her together more often to be reliable, though."

"Can be arranged."

The atmosphere around them heats up and Cas blushes. This is not what he was aiming at with the conversation, but on the other hand, it's also what he wishes as a result for the night.

"Uhm, so, anyway," Dean says after a while and coughs. "Any more questions?"

Cas shakes his head. He's glad that Dean told him all of this. Not only because it gives him the kind of understanding that he needed to leave this misunderstanding they had behind, but also because it signalizes a lot of trust to tell someone private things like this. Maybe he should in return open up about the luggage that he's carrying around, about all the failed relationships and the cheating. But even though Dean's story is sad and enrages Cas, it also kind of has a happy ending. And his doesn't. They are finally at a point where they could take a step in the right direction and start fresh, with trust and honesty, but he doesn't want to burden this new beginning with ghosts of the past. Then again, though, this is exactly what this evening was supposed to be about, and Dean opened up about his past too.  _What should I do?_

"Whenever you're ready," Dean says and jerks Cas from the fight with himself.

"Huh?" the dark-haired man asks, not having fully understood what Dean meant.

"Whatever you think you should tell me. It's fine. I get that it must be hard."

Cas huffs a laugh. "Yeah, it is. But you told me about Bela, so -"

"Hey, everyone at their own pace, okay?" Dean interrupts him, "You've been pretty explicit that night you threw me out. And I might not know much, but I've seen shit in the world so I can figure out the rest. And a restaurant probably isn't the best place to discuss this, right?"

Cas has a lump in his throat and presses his teeth together to keep the tears from falling. He didn't want to get so emotional, but Dean is just too sweet, so he nods.

Waving for the waitress, Dean adds, "What do you say, I pay the bill and we take a walk? Like always."

The dark-haired man chuckles. "Like always," he agrees.

The wind is blowing cold so they walk closely side by side. Dean is true to his word and doesn't pressure Cas into telling his story. Instead, the mechanic takes his hand and drags him to the main street where most of the shops are already closed but the windows are brightly lit and they walk from display to display, just randomly looking at things, rating them by necessity or design. It's silly and has no real meaning, but with how random things Dean can cheer him up warms his heart.

"You took your own car?" the mechanic asks after an hour of walking around. It gets colder by the minute and Cas begins to freeze so he snuggles to the other man's side and enjoys the heat that comes from Dean's body.

"No," he answers, "I took a taxi. Didn't know if I might end up drinking."

Dean laughs. "Because of me?"

Cas shakes his head. "Maybe with you."

They walk for some more minutes and when they turn around a corner and Cas sees Dean's Impala, he smiles. It belongs and fits the mechanic just like snow to Christmas.

"Want me to give you a ride?"

The question doesn't need much of an answer, and so Cas sits on the front seat like he did so many times before already, only that he now sees a car seat in the rearview mirror. Dean must've always put it away before he picked up Cas. Thank god they're over this now.

The drive doesn't take long and Cas is sad that they soon park in front of his apartment building. Gabriel is probably snoring in front of the TV upstairs with a bag of M&Ms in front of him. Not really something the dark-haired man is looking particularly forward too. Right here, in the warm breath of the Impala's heating and next to Dean, he feels way more comfortable.

"Was the evening okay?" Dean asks, brushing over the steering wheel.

Cas turns his head around and looks at the beautiful man. "Yes. More than okay."

Dean smiles shyly. "I'm glad to hear that."

Silence spreads over them again and it feels like they're teenagers, waiting in front of the one's home and hoping that no parents will see them through the window.

"So, can I expect more invitations for dinner?" Cas knows that he wanted Dean to make the steps this time, but the other man looks so helpless and overwhelmed that Cas just can't help going first.

Dean's eyes widen and his smile turns to a smirk. "If you'd like that."

Cas nods and shifts a bit closer on the front seat. They stare at each other and just dumbly grin, just like on the evening they met. In a way, this is has been their second first date after all, and it's like they're both still considering how far to go is still appropriate. Dean swallows. Cas can see it with how the other man's Adam's apple bobbles and it makes him shift even closer. They're only inches apart now and they can breathe each other's air, but none of them makes a move just yet.

The mechanic blinks a couple of times and leans back a bit. "Cas," he starts and takes a deep breath, "I want you to know that I would never cheat on you or treat you badly."

Cas can't help but blink too at the sudden change of energy between them. He tilts his head to the side and watches Dean for a moment before his mouth twists into a soft smile. "I know."

It's like this confirmation breaks a dam, like it's what Dean needed before leaning in and capturing Cas' lips in a passionate but soft kiss. It happens as if in slow-motion and Cas holds his breath, closes his eyes, and just feels. He almost forgot how good it feels to kiss Dean.

"A cheer on second chances, huh?" the blond man grins against his mouth and Cas nods before leaning back in. They're not gonna take it further this night, but at least it's a beginning.

 

* * *

 

 

**~ 3 years later ~**

 

"Dean, we're running late!"

With a sigh, Cas leans against the doorframe to their living room and takes a look at his watch. It's not like their table will be gone if they arrive a bit after eight but it would be nice to be on time just  _once_.

"Yeah, just a minute," Dean shouts from upstairs.

Cas turns around and sits on the couch for a moment, waiting for his boyfriend. Emily, now six years old, immediately jumps on him. "Can Jack play Mario Kart with me?"

"Sure, honeybee."

Jack, the son of their neighbor Kelly, is a kind young man and has helped the out babysitting Emily a couple of times already. At first, Dean has been wary of the teenager and even asked Cas to cut their first night out short to surprise Jack and see if he did anything stupid. They found him on the couch in their living room watching TV, and when Dean realized that Scooby Doo was running on the screen, he let the keys fall on the coffee table and sat down right next to Jack. Ever since then, he's been more trusting and began to accept that his daughter loves those evening when the adults are out maybe even more than they do.

This house became their new home a year ago when the woodworking shop that Dean had built up only months before became more and more profitable and the commissions grew so out of hand that he needed way more room. Before, the three of them already lived together in Dean's old house for about eight months after Charlie decided to move in with her girlfriend. Being able to contribute something to the new house made Cas feel like this is really their home now and in the short time of a year, he made a lot of effort to create a loving atmosphere for his little family. Next thing will be remodeling the backyard with a tree house for Emily, a hammock for Dean and a bed of herbs and flowers for himself. He's already contacted a beekeeper to find the right mixture of plants to attract his favorite animals.

He's been so proud when Emily, new in school, draw a picture of a bee for him with watercolors as her first project in art class. It still sticks to the fridge and every time Cas goes in the kitchen, he can't help but grin and feel a warmth spread through him at the thought of the girl he already sees as his own daughter. It took a while for him to feel comfortable enough to actually interact with Emily, even though the blond girl had no problems at all adjusting to her dad's boyfriend, but Cas never knew where he would cross the line or when he would do something inappropriate since he's not her father. In the end, he thinks they did it the right way. Now, he can't even believe that already three years have passed, but on the other hand, it sometimes also feels like Dean and Emily have always been in his life after all.

"... and aunt Charlie never lets me win. Other than daddy. He thinks I don't see it but he sometimes doesn't even drive at full speed."

Cas blinks, coming back from memory lane, and scoops Emily up in his arms, listening and nodding while the girl lists up how often she won and who is the toughest opponent. He hears a cough and looks up to see Dean standing in the doorframe, handsome like always, but especially ravishing this night. This extra time he needed upstairs definitely pays off and Cas grins to himself. He caught himself a pretty hot boyfriend.

"You ready?" he asks.

"Just waiting for you, Babe," Dean answers with a wink.

They don't even really need to instruct Jack anymore, who is preparing Mac and Cheese in the kitchen, and so the couple leaves after one last hug and a goodnight kiss for Emily.

It's no anniversary for them - they're going to celebrate that in a couple of weeks - but from time to time, they just like to dress up nicely and go to their favorite place, Ellen's, for burgers. Dean loves to play their song, Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here", on the old jukebox in the corner and order a plate of extra fries for them to share. They always have the same table, far enough away from the bar to have a bit of privacy, but still enough in the center to just watch and gossip about the drunken truck drivers or the pathetic attempts of some guys to impress college girls with their pool skills. Cas loves these moments when they can celebrate their love in the most casual and comfortable way. He doesn't need fancy restaurants or big vacations. Sunday pick-nicks in the park with their girl and weekend trips up to the hills for hiking is all he wants, and Dean makes sure that no matter how busy their weekdays are, they always find time to just come down and enjoy their life together.

Jo, Ellen's daughter and their waitress for this evening, brings them a piece of cherry pie and two forks, but before Cas can dig into their traditional dessert, Dean sits up straight and asks him for attention.

"I wanna say a toast," he says, coughs, and raises his glass of coke.

Cas joins in with a curious smile on his face.

"Almost three years ago we sat right here, at the same table, and I've been more nervous than I've ever been in my life cause just the thought of maybe having lost my chance with you gave me the chills. But no matter how silly and stupid I was, you still forgave me and you made me happier than I ever thought possible." He pauses for a moment and licks his lips, suddenly putting his glass down again and huffing a laugh. Cas tilts his head to the side but he doesn't say anything. He learned in his years with Dean that the other man rarely is comfortable to have an emotional talk like this, and that when he is, it's better not to interrupt him and just let him do it at his pace. How randomly but passionately these moments come is one thing that Cas loves about Dean.

"These past three years with you have been the best time of my life," Dean goes on after a while, "and even though I thought with Emily I had everything I would ever need, you made me realize how much more joy it brings to have someone at my side to experience all of this with. I love you, Cas, with every fiber of my being, and I know that you're it for me cause every single time I look at you, when you're snoring and taking up most of the bed, or when you have soil from the garden all over your face, or like now, when you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen... I wish for this to never end." He takes a deep breath and bites his lip before shifting out of his seat and...

Cas' breath hitches and he is sure his heart skips a beat when Dean kneels down in front of him. He doesn't even notice how people from tables around shut up and watch them, cause he's captured by the sights of tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

"You went with me through all my doubts and fears and all the changes that came up to us. You cheer me up when I feel down and let me be silly when the child inside of me pushes through the surface. You've been the missing puzzle piece and by loving me, you make my life complete." He swallows and pulls a little box out of his pocket. "Castiel Novak, do you allow me to spend the rest of my life trying to make you just as happy as you made me?" His voice trembles and he has to blink a tear away. "Will you marry me?"

Somewhere to his right, there is a sharp intake of breath, and from somewhere else, he can even hear someone shout "Say yes," but Cas' whole attention lies on Dean, down on one knee in front of him, and not a single thought is necessary before he cups the other man's face in his hands, pulls him close, and kisses him passionately, whispering "Yes" over and over again while tears run down his cheeks.

The crowd applauds, whistles, and shouts congratulations, but the two men are still in their little bubble where they don't see anything besides each other's sappy face. Dean slips the simple silver band on Cas' finger and kisses him again. They make a quick exit, completely forgetting about the pie, and being hugged several times on their way outside. In the Impala, Dean intertwines their fingers. "I have another surprise for you," he whispers.

Cas just grins cause the corners of his mouth won't come down anyway. "What is it?"

"I rented that little cabin for tonight. You know, the one we had for our anniversary last year, near the lake."

The dark-haired man immediately has images of an open fire, cozy blankets and lots of naked skin rushing through his mind. "What about Emily? She can't stay with Jack overnight."

Dean chuckles and starts the engine. "Yeah, about that. Sam picked her up right after we left. Jack was in on it. I thought you would become suspicious if I let Sam take her right away."

Cas shakes his head. His boyfriend - no,  _fiancé_ \- really thought this night through. He leans in again for a kiss before they drive off. It doesn't stay the last kiss that night, though, and, surrounded by woods and moonlight, they spend their first night as an engaged couple in a little cabin that would become the place of so many important nights still ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin. (That what comes at the ending of a fairy tale, right? haha) Thank you all so much for reading, giving kudos and writing comments. And special thanks to the lovely Miss Destiel who came up with this prompt for me to write. It's been a fun time.  
> I really hope you enjoyed the ride. And maybe we'll "see" each other some day in one of my other fics <3<3

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments welcome as always. And if you just wanna say hi, I'm also on [tumblr](https://riverchester.tumblr.com/)


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